...the opposite is the medicine...
last year around this exact time, i was evaluating what i learned in twenty-twenty-two, what i had set out “to do”, what actually transpired, who was around me that was different, people who were not in my life at the beginning of the year, how i had spent my time, what developed, what i loved that i wanted to continue, what ideas came to life that had, or had not, gotten traction, and what on earth was i going to do with, or about, any of it.
on the list of things i developed, was… “anything but linear”. every time i shared the undesigned deck (announcing - please ignore the lack of design), people overwhelmingly said they loved it and, more, of what i heard was: “I NEED that!” the tone always kinda took me by surprise as there was some soft vulnerability underneath the verbalizing of the response. it was barely discernable, but i heard it, and it struck me in such a way, that made clear to me, that this wasn’t just friends placating support for an idea. there was something visceral in it, and i felt it.
what was clear was, that people were going through it. me too/same. what also was confronting for me, was that i had “waited”, for what - i have no freaking idea. the classic societal - everything to be “perfect.” laughable, but true. i had in my mind an order of events. what i was left with and why i did the look back at the year with such depth, was because not one thing went as i imagined. so much so, that it required the deep, deep dive, into myself.
this concept has brewed in my brain since twenty-fifteen. granted, my brain at the time was healing, BUT, THE HEALING, was likely part of this “thing” that has been with me for years. as one’s brain heals, it re-wires. it will find new paths to do things that you could do before an injury. think of how people learn to walk again. it is through this process too, that in my case, one's brain can connect with dormant aspects of one’s life. that “anything but linear” would crystalize then, makes complete sense to me. that I did nothing about it for years, i accept as part of my journey.
this morning, full moon in cancer, sleep eluding me, i am eyes closed, and close to falling asleep when ideas start to come in, and i am back to, i gotta write this, today. (and pick it back up, a few days ago.)
in the spirit of “anything but linear” and the quest to share people’s stories about their lives unfolding, shifting, getting upended, and what they do to take care of themselves through it all, i keep coming back to, how we spend our time. much of my life i loathed the question, “how are you?” i was ready to write about this in 2014, after my accident, but never did. it has since been extensively written about. but the second worst question is: what do you do? i was always so...uncomforable...i guess(?) with this question...however, i used it as a means to understand who was in front of me, and how they responded to me dodging the question, and saying: “oh! yeah, i don’t talk about that,” told me everything about the person. it often meant the conversation didn’t continue, which was fine with me.
part of “abl” conceptually, is that we are all way more than “what we do.” over the summer, i came up with the idea of IO walking around as our linkedin profiles, what if we had some visual guide of how we spend our time, that isn’t work. even if you love your work. even if you are passionate about your work...how do you spend your time? i envisioned this as a postable circle, with a color-coded legend - a you-choose-your-own-colors-for-the-legend-legend. i kinda imagined a social media post, as much as i might love your face, i kinda want to know more about how you spend your time. my sense is we would connect more over our shared interests, learn something new about a person, or they could be the person who sparks your next rabbit hole, or next class! i also love this as an app. and it's a circle, or some chart, but it has no numbers…you can put in times, but like, it’s never tracked and more like a measure of what you do the most of, or for how long…and the color might also be part of the story…it’s the anti-selfie, anti-tracking, non-algorithmic, no data-data, of our lived experience. not trying to best, break, start, stop…just freaking living a life, a not postured, manicured, faked life. the only one we get. what if we all had a daily avatar of how we spend our free time and it was a tee-shirt, and you could just look at people and see how they spend their time and be like - oh, damn. you are amazing. or, it’s reminders, or like, yea, no, not into that.
this also leads me to the obvious. shit changes. shit is tough. shit is also A.MAZING. my general sense of things is that twenty-two-three seemed like massive shifts for people, myself included.
so upending was the end of last year, that i took the approach of: the opposite is the medicine. i mean, down to my ongoing narrative in my head. i paused, and thought: what is the opposite of this thought? (it was often negative, harsh, unkind, and cruel to me.) i would come up with something different. an actual different truth of the very thing i was telling myself. i took opposite actions, so where i would have not done something, i fucking did it. the old ways were not working, so i just kinda said: fuck it. ya have a litany of evidence to suggest this shit has not been the way, and my god, applaud yourself for the tenacity of trying to bang the door down, but it aint’ moving. so, perhaps do the opposite. and listen to what is easy, what comes to you, what you like, what you are drawn to. i spent a very long time also saying what i didn't love anymore, and yet, just kept doing it because i couldn't figure out what else to do, or how, i was stuck. i took an inventory of things i heard about myself from others, that i would dismiss. i journaled that too, as a means to observe every aspect i could look at as a means to glean something, anything that would be a crumb to a new path.
a huge astrology nerd (as overall guidance), i knew enough to know not one thing was moving in the first part of the year, so i was going to have to settle DOWN and into things, while also, taking “the opposite is the medicine” for a life ride. i had the moment of complete and utter surrender. it was a muscle to be built, but it built, at times with great repetition, and other times with integrating new practices, trying some, switching things up and around with all of it. if twenty two-two was a year of great exploration, since it didn’t turn out the way i envisioned, then twenty two-three was the year of the great learning. interestingly enough, the vision hasn’t changed, it refined and is now so soundly supported by what i learned.
it was by far the most synchronistic of years. i had no clue, no plan, no vision for where i am now. none. and i mean none. i DID though have this podcast as an idea, that i loved and wanted to share.
into twenty two-four we go…
may you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be free!
your support brings anything but linear to you as an independent, ad-free, and unsponsored publication. i have recorded a bunch of podcasts, so this will flow in twenty two-four. i will learn, evolve, and iterate, and see what also happens. sharing this with anyone who might be interested is super appreciated! i am squarely in the throes of remaining independent, not creating content to feed an algorithm, but also somehow trying to launch this independently, and keep it that. i will, in the spirit of "the opposite is the medicine" share this on social stories, but i am trying not to become a content machine. more like, you get the email updates, and a post in my stories on IG, and that is it. (SEND ME GOOD VIBES TO RUN UP AGAINST THE ALGO and make it work for me and all of you!)
to that end...i have set up three-tiers of subscriptions and not yet learned how to streamline the promo process. HAHAHA! but i DO have offers leading into twenty two-four - a wildly original 24% off, for a couple months, or the year!
i created "servings" as i thought through what people might be willing to shift in their spending - one beverage, two beverages, or ya just wanna support as much as possible for the triple-serve humans! (and yes, food related...alas...)